Lessons Learned

Dearest Child of Mine,

I’m not going to lie to you: this waiting period has been taxing my patience! I apologize if I sound like a broken record, but with each passing week (and we’re at week sixteen, thankyouverymuch), I find myself growing more and more anxious. Emails are checked almost obsessively (which isn’t easy when you have four different email accounts). My cell phone never leaves my side; not that I was ever seen without it to begin with…but you get the idea.

Despite this lack of patience, however, I really do feel like God has used this waiting time to teach me a few spiritual lessons:

Lesson number 1:
Never tell God “I could never do that…” While in high school, I told God I could never be a teacher. Fast forward six years and boom! I’m teaching and loving every minute of it. While newly married, I told a friend I could never go through the pain of infertility. Fast forward a few years, and I was given the diagnosis I never wanted to hear: Your chances of having a child without major medical help are very slim. Needless to say, when the prospect of adoption entered the picture another year later, the weight of fear was replaced with hope.

Lesson number 2:
What totally stinks now will probably make you a better person. In high school (and again in college) not seeing my name on the cast list was enough to put me in tears for a solid week. Looking back, I know now that while it wasn’t fun at the time, God was using those experiences to teach me what it was like to not be in the spotlight. Now, as students struggle with those same feelings I had, I can look them in the yes and tell them: I totally understand how you feel, and it stinks to the core. When considering how adoption fits into this, while I may be griping about the wait now, I know in my heart that I will be rejoicing later when you—chosen by God—join our family.

Lesson number 3:
Don’t sweat the small stuff. I can remember when the little, insignificant things in life were enough to turn my world upside down. Like the time that my orthodontist promised that my braces would be coming off on the next visit, and then changed his mind when that time came around: my teeth weren’t quite where he wanted them to be, and I would need to wait another few months. (Sidenote: I cried so hard that afternoon that Papa took me straight from the orthodontists’ office to the DMV to make the appointment for my driver’s license). Now, as we’re in the midst of these uncertain times (both on the home front and in the world), God’s reminding me that the dishes in piled in the sink don’t matter: what matters is that I’ve got a home to return to each night and people who love me.
Love you already,
Your mommy

PS. I have a funny feeling that when you come into the world, those dishes in the sink really aren’t going to matter!

Scrapbooking the Night Away

Dearest Child of Mine,

This weekend was a crazy one. I started it off by spending Friday evening stranded in the snow on the side of the mountain with a van full of teenagers, and ended it by watching home movies with my family. And somewhere in between there I spent a few days scrapbooking with my aunt and cousins!

While scrapbooking, I managed to finish what I had started the week before: a scrapbook devoted to Maynerd and Roxy. I wanted to be sure to do something that chronicles our dogs' lives before you come into the picture and they're demoted from being our furbabies to being normal pets. It came out pretty cute!

Once that was done, I focused on a scrapbook for you. It's your ABC book! I'm about 20% finished. I really like what it looks like so far, and I'm hoping that I can continue to find the stamina and endurance to finish it soon. Something tells me that when you come home, little one, I won't have the time to spend my evenings and weekends scrapbooking anymore!

Love you like crazy,
your mommy