Thursday Nighters...and Are You Here Yet?

Dearest Child,

This past weekend, I went to my college stomping grounds in Seattle to visit a very dear friend of mine: EllenAnn. Long story short: I went up there to watch the series finale of the show I had watched faithfully every Thursday night with a core group of friends (we dubbed ourselves the Thursday Nighters). Although none of us have watched 'ER' since college, it was important for us to get together once again to wrap everything up. We had a blast, and I found myself reverting back to my old college-age self. What fun it was to answer to my college nickname (Spullen) and to laugh and swap stories in the wee hours of the morning.

I had so much fun visiting with EllenAnn, in fact, that we've made plans for the summer. If it all works out, she's going to come down here to visit for a few days. I'm thinking of taking her to Yosemite & Shaver Lake, but we'll see what the weather has in store before making any firm plans. Your daddy and I are also planning on taking a trip up the West Coast to go to Oregon to see Grandma & Grandpa Pullen and Seattle (yep, EllenAnn again).

The piece de resistance, however, comes toward the end of July. We're going to go to Disneyland with her two daughters. When we were making these plans, I made an off the cuff comment, something to the effect of "Oh, I'll probably have the baby with me so I can show him or her what Disneyland's all about!"

EllenAnn stopped dead in her tracks, little one, as only EllenAnn can. She looked me dead in the eyes and quietly said "Spullen...of course you're going to have the baby with you--you're going to have your child with you for the rest of your life!"

Gulp. Apparently, in my rush to wait for you to get here, I "forgot" one very pivotal piece of information: parenthood is forever. I think daily (ok, hourly and minutely if there is such a possibility) about what those first few weeks will be like when we bring you home. In fact, I've been so focused on "MAY BABY" lately, that I've neglected to remind myself that there also will be a baby in June, and in July, and in August...well, you get the idea. Of course there will be a baby with me when I go to Disneyland in July. Oopsie. Forgive me?

That said...are you here yet?

Love you,

yo mamma

PS. While in Seattle, I showed a friend of mine the Seattle Pacific campus. Of course, I couldn't resist buying a t-shirt for you. It'll be a while before you can wear it (I got a 2T), but I can't wait to see you toddling around the house in it. Because, you know, you'll still be here two years from now and all.

Uncle Tom & Aunt Beth Finally Tied the knot!

Dearest Little One,

After six loooong years of dating, your Aunt Beth & Uncle Tom were married last night in a very lovely mountain wedding. I was a bridesmaid and your daddy was an usher. We had an absolute blast and are so happy that they've finally tied the knot. Now that the wedding's over, all of us are anxiously awaiting your arrival!

(Insert Subject Title Here)

Dearest Child,

I'm not sure what I should be writing at this point. Yes, we've been matched with a birth mother at this point. Yes, we could become parents soon. But we don't know for certain that *you* are the baby on the way. In other words, while we're over the moon excited, we're also fully aware that she (I'll call her K) could choose against an adoption plan at any given moment. So while we're stoked and excited (and admitedly it's all I can think or talk about at this point), we're trying to also remain grounded until we actually have YOU to take home.

Truth be told, while I'm wrought with fear that it will fall through, I also have a tremendous sense of peace that God's plan for our family will revealed soon. I really do hope that the baby that K is carrying now is you. I want so badly to bring you home and call you my little son or daughter.

That said, the path to adoption is rarely smooth, and this situation is no exception. You see, when we were called a week and a half ago, we were told that K's due date was April 10th. Recent phone calls from our adoption agency have revealed that K was experiencing contractions and was hoping that labor would happen soon.

So imagine our surprise, little one, when we got another update from our agency this evening (just as I prepared to teach my evening college class). Surprise! The due date has been pushed back to May 16th. While I initially was bummed that things have been pushed off a little, I'm trying to remain optimistic. I really do think that this is God's doing. It gives us more time to prepare our house for a baby, and hopefully by then we'll have received the money we need to complete the adoption process.

Business aside, there are a few things that we know about K. Our social worker has encouraged us to write down all of the information we know about her (so we don't forget in future years), so here goes:

• She's 23 years old, and she's part Hispanic & part Puerto Rican.
• She's a part time choreographer, model & tattoo artist (but according to her social worker, she's not covered in tattoos).
• She's got a 5 year old son from her first marriage.
• According to her social worker, she's "drop dead" gorgeous.
• She's got 3 brothers & 3 sisters.

The obvious question is the most difficult question: "Why is she placing her baby up for adoption?" While I'm hoping that this is a question that you can ask her directly someday, what we know at this point is that she is going through a divorce and that it's really important to her that this baby be raised by two parents who love God. When she saw her profile, she looked at the first page and just *knew* that we were the ones she wanted to match with, because she liked that we were short (she "didn't want the baby raised by giants") and that I was a drama teacher (she related to the creative aspect of my job).

So there you have it, little one. These next few weeks are sure to be difficult as the wait drags on, but I'm praying that God will continue to guide us through this whole process. Most of all, I pray for K in her last month of pregnancy. I pray that God will give her peace and will ease her mind of what are surely some very difficult decisions.

Until we meet you,

your mommy

PS. All we know at this point about the the birth father is that he's part African American and part Hispanic. He's also from Florida & has green eyes.