Oh, the Irony

Dearest Child,

As we prepare for your pending arrival, one of the final steps toward completion is the final adoption payment that we will owe the agency before we can take you home.

As it's a rather large amount and your dad isn't working now, we're having to turn to other ways to raise the money so our dreams of parenthood can come true. For now, I'm doing Pampered Chef fundraisers (if you ever wonder why just about every item in the kitchen is Pampered Chef, now you know the answer).

Another way I'm raising money is by taking on extra jobs at school. Today, I started my first job: teaching home hospital to a Central student. The ironic twist would be that this student is home on maternity leave, having just had her baby on Christmas Day. Yep, I'm teaching students who have just had babies to pay for my future baby's adoption!

In the meantime, I can only trust that our road to adoption will continue to be a smooth one. I'm praying that we're not forced to fundraise for the entire remaining balance. I applied for several adoption grants; it will be a huge blessing if we can receive even one.

Praying for you,
your mommy

Ha! I was Right!

Dearest Child of Mine,

Remember when I wrote that post about flying space cars? Well today, I saw this:

Space cars aren't for the movies anymore, baby. They're real and they're here and they're testing them out this year!

Ok, I'm done now.

Love you to the moon and back,

your mommy

Not a Bedtime Story

Dearest Little One,


While on my quest to find out all I can about the adoption process, I have been adding books about adoption to my list of bedtime reading. One of the books, titled Twenty Things Adoptive Children Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew was one that I thought would be particularly helpful:

I asked for it for Christmas and was so excited when Grandma Max gifted it to me this year. I'm about six chapters into it, and I can't say that I will be finishing this one. The author who wrote this is a psycho babble nut with a major chip on her shoulder. If she got a paper cut, she blamed it on being adopted. If she woke up on the wrong side of the bed one morning, it was because she was still dealing with her adoption grief. Personally, I think that she's got a lot of unresolved feelings regarding her own adoption and, as a result, doesn't view her adoption as a positive thing.

I pray that you will have a different perspective than the author of that book. What I can promise you, little one, is that our love for you will never go away. We love you now, we will love you when we meet you, and we will love you when you're old enough to read this (and beyond).

We will also try our best to answer questions that you may have surrounding your adoption as you have them. It's our hope that we will be open about your adoption so that you feel comfortable coming to us wtih questions or concerns. We don't know what your circumstances will be just yet (because the match has yet to happen), but ideally we'd love to be able to maintain contact with your birthmom. We understand that even though your adoptive family will play a big role in your life, maintaining that link to your biological family is an important part in forming who you are as a person.

Now that I've got that off of my chest, I have been fortunate enough to receive several books that lovingly tell adoption stories.

Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born was the first one I got, from Auntie Beth. It's a beautifully written story and one that we definitely plan on reading to you when you join our family:

I got another book, from your Grandma Max. It's called Susan and Gordon Adopt a Baby. I'm going ga-ga for Sesame Street now, and this book definitely satisfied my Big Bird mania. It's sooo cute and I think it will be particularly helpful to read to you when we adopt our second child (your brother or sister).

Happy reading, dear child!

Love,

your mommy

The New News is that There is No New News

Dearest Child of Mine,

As I write this, I'm sitting in your nursery, taking in all of the sights around me. It's sooo quiet and peaceful, but I'm hoping it won't be that way for long. Something tells me, though, that when you're actually here and you've woken up for the thirteenth time in four hours, I'll be longing for this silence again.

Today was a fun day. I was determined to put my scrapbooking machine to good use, so I've been hard at work creating some wall art for your nursery. I'm absolutely amazed at how the die cut animals I made so closely resemble your bedding! I'll post pictures as soon as I can convince your father to come inside and give me a hand hanging them up. I may be good at a lot of things, but hanging pictures is not one of my gifts. They always end up cock-eyed and on the verge of falling off and bonking somebody on the head. People tend to frown on things falling off of walls and bonking infants on the head, so I'll have to be patient and wait until your dad comes inside before hanging anything up, thankyouverymuch.

I got a phone call today from the social worker who is currently working to match us to, well, you. Although a lot of adoption matches happened with our agency in October and November, December, the first full month we were available to be shown to prospective birth moms, was a relatively quiet month. In fact, only two birthmoms were interested in looking at profiles, and neither one of them were looking for adoptive parents that matched our criteria. If we were African American or Catholic (or both), our profile would have been shared with the birthmoms, but we're neither, so the lovely profile that I (and several other volunteers) slaved over is still sitting in agency's profile binder.

The good news is that January appears to be a busy month for our adoption agency. Several birthmoms are to the point where they can look at the profiles of adoptive parents. Maybe this will be the month that your birthmom will read our profile and see that what we are everything she'd hoped for in adoptive parents?

I can't help but wonder, as I sit in what will be your nursery someday, what you will be like. Will you have dark hair or light hair? Will your eyes be as blue as the sky or deep brown? Will you be artistic, academic or athletic (or all three)? There's so much out there that's an uncertainty at the moment. It's like there's this gift that is sitting within reach but we can't open just yet. And when we are given permission to open this precious gift, it's going to take a lifetime to reveal itself.

You, my dearest little one, are our precious gift. Don't you forget that.

We love you so much,

Your Mommy

P.S. Me again. I just wanted to let you know that my impatience won out and I ended up hanging the pictures on your nursery wall myself. I used a level, dearest little one. And a measuring tape. And the real picture hanger thingamajiggers! In the end, however, all of my efforts to be Mrs. Handyman went out the window. I still had to reposition the pictures about 10 different times. I apologize in advance for the extra holes in your wall. Ooopsie.

I think it was worth it, though. Here's the picture of your bedding:

And here's the picture of the wall art that I (your mommy) made just for you!

Isn't it adorable?

Love you so much,

your mommy

Anniversaries and Looking Forward

Hello, my little one!



Yesterday, your father and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that we've already been married five whole years! It was at this time, five years ago, we were going to the airport to begin our Disney World honeymoon.



Here we are on our honeymoon in Disneyworld. We didn't buy the hats, but we did snag a picture wearing them!

Last year, I started dreaming of all of the things we could do for our milestone fifth anniversary. Maybe we could go on a cruise? Go to the beach for a week? Revisit New York? We settled instead for a 3PM early dinner at Olive Garden followed by a trip to a (really cool) candy store and a children's movie. Oh, yeah, then we crashed Nonni and Papa's moving party and sat and ate a light meal with them. Yep (insert sarcasm here), your parents sure do know how to party.

I'm hoping, little one, that next year's anniversary won't be as low key. Sure, we'll still do the dinner and movie thing, but I'm hoping that instead of leaving on a whim, we'll have to have the mad dash to find a babysitter because your dad and I will be having the what-do-you-mean-you-didn't-call-the-babysitter-that's-what-I-thought-you-were-responsible-for-and-I-was-choosing-the-restaurant-and-movie conversation. I know. I dream big.

Actually, it's more than likely that you won't have any "real" babysitters until you're much, much older. That's the beauty of having family in town. Chances are, we'll be sending you to Nonni & Papa's or Auntie Beth's and they'll be more than happy to oblige! They've already made some comments about fighting over who gets to hold you when you're here. Um, stand in line folks, stand in line.

Because...wait for it...your mother is getting impatient again. It's been a whole month. How much longer will it be? I'm sensing that our dogs know something's up. Usually, they'll come up to us for the brief cuddle and scratch behind the ears, then it's off to either look longingly through the sliding glass doors leading to the backyard (Roxy) or to get in the bathroom trash (Maynerd).

Since we've put the nursery together, however, they've been acting differently. Maynerd insists on laying as close to me as caninely possible. Take now, for example. You'd think that having a laptop on one's lap would imply to most dogs that this lap is out of commission for a while. Nope. Maynerd chooses this time to jump up on the recliner and start circling on my stomach until I eventually get the hint (silly me) and move the laptop so he can lay down on one leg while the laptop tilts precariously on the other leg. Roxy tried to do the same thing, but the laptop won out so she's having to settle for laying on my feet, sighing and burping when appropriate.

Yep--these dogs are in for quite the surprise when you come along, dearest little one, and methinks they've already figured that out. They're too used to being number one in our lives, so they're soaking up all of the loving that they can until you get here and rock their world!

With loving patience,

Your Mommy

Making Room for Grandkids!

Dearest Child of Mine,

Today, I helped your Nonni and Papa move into their new house. It is so big. And it has lots of parks nearby. You are going to love spending time there, I just know it. While I'm a little bit sad that they're moving from their old house that had so many good memories, their new house will be just as special. After all, this will be the house that their grandchildren (ie, you) will fill with love.

Loving you to the end of the world and back,
your mommy

Getting by with a little help from my friends

Hello Little One!

My Grandmother once told me that I would be lucky if I had one true friend with which I could share life's trials and joys. I've been multiply blessed, for while acquaintances have come and gone, many friends have stayed in my life and changed it for the better.

One of those friends, little one, is Melissa. She and I met as 7th graders at Computech Middle School. She was as tall as I was short, but we bonded immediately. Who knew that insecurity and striving to fit in could be so prevalent in junior high? Braces and a teeny-bopper taste in music aside, she and I have been the closest of friends for the going on eighteen years now. My day is always a little brighter when I talk to her on the phone or, better yet, get to visit with her.

Today, my child, was a visiting day. I made the trek today to Santa Cruz to spend time with her, and within minutes my mood was better and the laughter flowed freely (sidenote: I was very, very, VERY frustrated with the phone company and had spent the better part of my vacation trying to get our Internet/phone/cable fixed).

Melissa with Makayla and George

Melissa and her equally awesome husband have two adorable children: Makayla and George. I can't help but think of you when I see them. I hope that you'll get to be as close to them as we are. In fact, nudge, nudge, if you're a boy and you've got a thing for older women, Makayla's got some cute dimples on that face of hers. And if you're a girl and we go through with naming you Emily, feel free to marry George! After all, two of the greatest lovers of all time were named Emily and George (Our Town).

Hmmm...maybe I should meet you first before marrying you off. Forgive me?

Loving you always,

your mommy