Rollercoaster

Dearest Child of Mine,

I think the title pretty much sums it up: what a rollercoaster of a week this was. I'll begin with the positive:

I was teaching when I got a phone call from our social worker at the adoption agency. A birthmom saw our profile and was interested in meeting us in person. We would be one of two families that she would meet with. I was so excited! I hung up the phone and promptly called your father to fill him in. He, too, thought this was wonderful news. I then called Nonni. She was super excited, too. Especially when she found out that the baby's due date would be on February 26: Nonni's birthday.

After making those phone calls, I shot off 20 or so text messages to my closest friends and family asking for their prayers. And then I remembered that I had a children's theatre class to teach and a classful of students wondering what the heck was their teacher spending so much time on the phone for. I filled them in, and they all gasped with joy.

Fast forward an hour or so later, and I was on my way to get lunch for your father while talking to Nonni on the phone (about how we're trying not to get too too excited), when the phone beeped and I realized our social worker was calling. I ended the conversation with Nonni so I could answer the social worker's call. It was not good news that she had for me. The birthmom had decided that she was going to parent her child and that adoption was no longer an option for her.

I won't lie, little one. That news bummed me out...but it wasn't as bad as I thought, because once again, God filled my heart with peace. You see, I know now that the child to be born around February 26 is not my child. You are my child. And someday...we'll meet and you will join our family for forever.

Waiting for your hugs and kisses,

your mommy